so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
