I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
