hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
