wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
smell my finger.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
