She said her name was "party"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
