after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
