im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
