3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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