I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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