Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
