So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
