My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
