VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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