I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
