What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
