Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
this is an emotional support booty call
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize