What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
