so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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