Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
