i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
