you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
