Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am naked and annoyed.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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