It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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