All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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