No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
