After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
