And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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