So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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