He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
