when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
