And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize