New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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