just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
