Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
