I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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