Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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