I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
