you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Enjoy the penises
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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