i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
