she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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