Where did you get a picture of my penis
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's never too late to be topless.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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