the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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