At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
