Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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