I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
