I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
