She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I need a burrito and a hug.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
