Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
