I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
