My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
