I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
