are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
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