My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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