Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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