wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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