i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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