Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
