Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
