I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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