I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
