u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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