Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize