yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
