dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
