hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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