i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
