Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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